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 JHShadon's Pokemon Story

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JHShadon

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Posts : 10
UT points : 2858
Join date : 2009-12-10
Age : 23
Location : Australia

PostSubject: JHShadon's Pokemon Story   Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:39 am

I hope you like my story

Part One.

One day a boy of the age of 13 was walking towards Professor Rowan's lab. He was of medium height and girth and pretty athletic, he has Brown hair that was naturally neat and was wearing a green T-shirt for it was summer(he has a jumper in this backpack) also he was wearing blue jeans that weren't tight so he could have movement, and white sneakers with white socks. When he reached Professor Rowan's lab he was greeted by his assistant Dawn and she said with a smile "You must be Jack, we have been waiting for you." She led him to a room where Rowan was working, he said without moving from his workspace "Welcome Jack, your pokedex and pokeballs are on the desk, since your father gave you some pokemon to start with I will be able to save the ones I have for another." Jack replied "Thank you Professor Rowan." (Okay he has 3 pokemon already, a Riolu, a male Ralts with a blue headband(he has a dawn stone in his backpack) and a female Ralts witha pink bow) "I'll show you to the exit Jack" said Dawn. Jack replied "I know the way out, you better help Rowan with his studies." and with that he left on his journy.
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Daiko

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Posts : 1219
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Join date : 2009-10-27
Age : 23
Location : In a Galaxy far, far away =D

PostSubject: Re: JHShadon's Pokemon Story   Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:49 am

Nice.

Try to use less actual characters though.

Using teams is okay but try to avoid the main characters.. They take the personal feel from the story
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JHShadon

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Posts : 10
UT points : 2858
Join date : 2009-12-10
Age : 23
Location : Australia

PostSubject: Re: JHShadon's Pokemon Story   Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:52 am

They and the gym leaders/elite 4 are the only actual Chars I will use(I will make a custom champion based on my friend if he agrees)
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Daiko

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Posts : 1219
UT points : 4411
Join date : 2009-10-27
Age : 23
Location : In a Galaxy far, far away =D

PostSubject: Re: JHShadon's Pokemon Story   Thu Dec 10, 2009 4:08 am

Hmm.. as advice.. I would say.. Use your own Leaders and try to create a seperate region.

It will help a lot.
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JHShadon

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Posts : 10
UT points : 2858
Join date : 2009-12-10
Age : 23
Location : Australia

PostSubject: Re: JHShadon's Pokemon Story   Thu Dec 10, 2009 4:25 am

Here is the next part to my story
Part 2

As he was walking down 202 he found a pokemon battle between a bidoof and a shinx, he walked past it smiling then found a starly and decided to catch it, he sent out his male ralts and it used confusion and got hit by a couple of tackles before he defeated it. Now with the starly defeated, he got out a pokeball and caught it. He smiled then went on his way. While on his way to Jubilife city he was confronted by a trainer, so Jack decided to battle. Jack sent out his riolu and the trainer sent out his bidoof, riolu used quick attack to dodge bidoof’s tackle then attack it’s side but the bidoof used another tackle and this time it his riolu and it used tackle again but riolu dodged it then use quick attack again and finished the bidoof off, “Nice battle” the trainer said and Jack replied “Thanks, you were good yourself.” After the battle he reached Jubilife city, then went straight for the pokemon center and once he got his pokemon healed he found a stand giving out poketches and decided to get one, once he got it he went to look for some battles.
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